The Fearful vs. The Fearless

I was looking back through some notes and came across this excerpt from “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero.

“…Often times taking great leaps of faith is labeled as irresponsible, selfish or insane. (Until you succeed of course; then you’re brilliant). They will do everything possible to stop you from changing and growing especially since you’re attempting to obliterate the very identity that you and everyone else has come to know as ‘you’…We are unwilling to make other people more uncomfortable than they just made us.”

When I read that a few months ago it was the perfect time for me because of who I had surrounded myself with. Personally, I was surrounded by people who were constantly belittling, discouraging and making us feel bad for decisions we had made. Professionally I was being ignored, dismissed and I had to focus on what was needed for the business. While every experience that I had taught me a lot, I was feeling unfulfilled and knew there was something more I was meant to be doing.

 

I believe a big strength (and weakness) is that I jump into things fearless.

YOU. KNOW. this got me in trouble as a kid but I would still go and do it because I was headstrong and wasn’t afraid of getting in trouble. I knew what was right, I knew what was wrong so I felt like I was okay (as every teenager does) and I had a strong urge to be everywhere, experience everything and figure things out for myself. It took me being fearless to win public speaking competitions, taking me to scholarships and state fairs. It took being fearless to dance in front of crowds and that took me to performing at the Royals home opener and choreographer’s dance showcases. It took being fearless to write my number on a stranger’s arm and then I married him four years later. If I had stayed in the relationship that I was familiar with instead of taking a chance on this man, I wouldn’t be going through the best years of my life with my best friend.

As an adult being fearless meant taking multiple job opportunities to keep an income but always knowing they weren’t long-term gigs. My husband encouraged me every time I would complete a contract to move on and it just kept getting better. I had a balance of ‘not good enough’ and being extremely grateful. If you are able to challenge and balance yourself with gratefulness and urgency, you’re doing something right. You can’t fear having no income, no consistency or not finding something else because something will always come up.

You might know what you’re working toward and that’s okay. I never liked the question “What’s your passion?” because that’s 100 different things for me. It’s going to change for the 18-year-old who is deciding on their career but it might not for the person who wanted to be a vet their entire life. I want to see and surround myself with people who take chances, go after what they want and get a little selfish when it comes to their own happiness. I want to see someone who takes a fearless leap if they’re not satisfied with where they are at and leave someone holding them back.

When you evolve and change your practices or career, people are uncomfortable because you’re growing and evolving to something they aren’t familiar with.

Do not feel guilty for changing when this might leave that person behind. There is room for everyone to be friends; maybe they’re just playing a different role in your life right now. There are endless jobs out there because they are all needed. Not everyone needs to be in the same place or job as you to be equal. If someone loves what they’re doing you should always support them. If they’re not paying your bills then why should they have a say in your job or how you reward yourself? Don’t ever feel guilty for spending or saving for what you want with what you’ve worked hard to earn.

Do not feel discouraged if your family isn’t supportive of your new business venture. Especially with the new opportunities the digital world is creating, the job field is changing. Not everyone needs to go to a four-year college and get an office job they work at for 40 years only to retire. There are different ways to get somewhere and it doesn’t make anyone right or wrong.

Do not be scared when someone attempts to use bully tactics on you or compete with you. I’ve been told ‘Be careful because we know a lot of people.’ When I became a top producer for a 100% commission sales job, I was told it was because of superficial reasons and nothing to do with my work ethic. I’ve been purposefully left out of conversations about  my own career and I’ve been bribed with gifts or ‘You don’t really want to be someone who does that right?’ or ‘I can tell you want to stay here because why else would you still be standing here then?’ to which I replied ‘Because you’re still talking.’ They were all fearful and hoping for more help than they were willing to give. Gross.

You can always tell the fearful vs. the fearless. There is nothing attractive or someone too scared to get out of their comfortable rut. I don’t want to surround myself with people always telling me to be careful or watch out. I don’t want someone to grimace or try stirring the pot. They will always be there of course but so are the people who will genuinely be happy for you and applaud you. Pay attention to those people. If you start doing what feels good, continue to act in what is right and you will get all the good stuff.

It takes just a few seconds of insane bravery and it is always worth it. Be fearless when you walk into high school, when you ask for that raise, when you start a family and be confirmed that you can and will handle whatever happens. There is too much fear in the world and too many people willing to be comfortable. I want to hear about something that you (or someone you know) did fearlessly. There’s nothing more motivating to me.

 

Cheers!

Marin

PS: Thank you all for the support and the new clients who have come my way from your referrals! Are you interested in possibly working together? Well guess what? A phone call is always free. Let’s talk!

 

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